Pham0023

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Offline (the 07/19/2016 at 4:18am)

Pham0023

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 December 1981 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3075
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Pham0023 : Here to have a good laugh :)

Pham0023's page activity

Visits<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 12:51am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:12pm<b>catbat62</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:15pm<b>badDayBabe</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:33am<b>gabbi630</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 6:11am<b>ravenlovesplaid</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 9:57pm<b>JDez3</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 9:20pm<b>illusong</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 7:39pm<b>aimeebear</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 2:40am<b>BFons</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 11:21pm<b>HopeLEssGossip</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 6:29am<b>bbonbonxx3</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 11:05pm<b>perry_sameh20</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 2:25am

Pham0023's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Pham0023's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

by Username / 04/30/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Health

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

by Celluloid / 04/29/2011 at 2:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

by ouchmytits / 03/28/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

by StinkyDogs / 03/27/2011 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was going to my prom. My mom knows I want to drink so to prevent me, she made sure I took my prescription medicine before I left. I guess her way of stopping me from drinking is killing myself If I do. FML

by coolkid111 / 03/26/2011 at 8:26pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

by Cuzles / 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

by Fcuked / 03/23/2011 at 12:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

by Haley. / 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

by ID10t / 11/10/2009 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

by keeperstride / 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went with my fiancé to meet his parents. He was really sweet the whole way there, and once we got there he introduced me as 'the girl I'm going to marry'. His parents took one look at me and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed, because I thought they were joking. They weren't. FML

by kelizabeth / 08/05/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Kansas) / Love