About Pham0023 : Here to have a good laugh :)
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Today, I was going to my prom. My mom knows I want to drink so to prevent me, she made sure I took my prescription medicine before I left. I guess her way of stopping me from drinking is killing myself If I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11158) - you deserved it (4176)
On 03/26/2011 at 8:26pm - health - by coolkid111 - United States (New York)
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13582) - you deserved it (22975)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by Cuzles (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18492) - you deserved it (49003)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62306) - you deserved it (11803)
On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46238) - you deserved it (7109)
On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (18213)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (4666)
On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4056) - you deserved it (35289)
On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11964) - you deserved it (50383)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went with my fiancé to meet his parents. He was really sweet the whole way there, and once we got there he introduced me as 'the girl I'm going to marry'. His parents took one look at me and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed, because I thought they were joking. They weren't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38955) - you deserved it (2039)
On 08/05/2009 at 2:17pm - love - by kelizabeth (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37107) - you deserved it (2967)
On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. Trying to be romantic, I told him that I loved him and I was so glad I was with him. He responded by giving me a thumbs-up and turning back to the TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39201) - you deserved it (4631)
On 05/14/2009 at 2:48am - love - by KarolBee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (343284) - you deserved it (40810)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (381794) - you deserved it (21586)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276580) - you deserved it (23317)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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