About Pham0023 : Here to have a good laugh :)
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Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (79112)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105011) - you deserved it (5803)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (1941)
On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (3610)
On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, after spending thousands of dollars and several years pursuing a higher education so I could get a high paying job doing something that requires skill and brainpower, I finally got my first job offer after months of searching. I will be cleaning houses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30183) - you deserved it (4136)
On 06/07/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by disappointed (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13761) - you deserved it (30770)
On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30877) - you deserved it (4373)
On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14875) - you deserved it (29599)
On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29783) - you deserved it (3397)
On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went out on a date with an ex boyfriend that I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (5639)
On 04/30/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20668) - you deserved it (5465)
On 04/30/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11906) - you deserved it (31636)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14159) - you deserved it (27339)
On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34669) - you deserved it (3189)
On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23031) - you deserved it (7613)
On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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