Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Pham0023

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 8:57pm) | Search for a member

Pham0023

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 December 1981 (32 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1601
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Pham0023 : Here to have a good laugh :)

Pham0023's page activity

Visits<b>badDayBabe</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:33am<b>gabbi630</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 6:11am<b>ravenlovesplaid</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 9:57pm<b>JDez3</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 9:20pm<b>illusong</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 7:39pm<b>aimeebear</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 2:40am<b>BFons</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 11:21pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:03am<b>HopeLEssGossip</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 6:29am<b>bbonbonxx3</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 11:05pm<b>perry_sameh20</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 2:25am

Pham0023's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Pham0023's badges

Pham0023's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

#18623921
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24861) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan

Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML

#18622971
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (3376)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:42am - health - by somewhatlucky - United States (California)

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

#18594969
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15593) - you deserved it (38703)

On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
275 comments

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48220) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26714) - you deserved it (2380)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6391) - you deserved it (48317)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28627) - you deserved it (8627)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40541) - you deserved it (5226)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42194) - you deserved it (8545)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you deserved it (37088)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44897) - you deserved it (5039)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32973) - you deserved it (10804)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64090) - you deserved it (3201)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (3125)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: