About Pham0023 : Here to have a good laugh :)
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Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (2607)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21089) - you deserved it (1684)
On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4873) - you deserved it (35256)
On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35486) - you deserved it (7642)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (27688)
On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (3801)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (8053)
On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54711) - you deserved it (2328)
On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21279) - you deserved it (2299)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20390) - you deserved it (4383)
On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28655) - you deserved it (18157)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my future mother in law gave me advice on life. One piece of advice was that I should leave her son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21105) - you deserved it (1631)
On 10/07/2011 at 2:41am - love - by andy1r (woman) - Bolivia (El Beni)
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19180) - you deserved it (3105)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)
Monday 20 May 2013
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