About PeteyPablo12308 : I\\\'m Peter. Im a college student and everything is good except that I live in Idaho... FML :-P I like men.
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Today, I put my hand into a vending machine to retrieve a bottle of water that was caught in the slot. After a minute, I realized I was trapped. 2 hours, 4 fire trucks, 3 police cars, and 1 ambulance later I was freed. The vending machine was in pieces and the bottle of water wasn't even for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37593) - you deserved it (9651)
On 02/26/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by VenderBender (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML
I agree, your life sucks (48533) - you deserved it (9144)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:56am - love - by thetheatreguy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19717) - you deserved it (31741)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:13am - work - by Kasizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (63570) - you deserved it (16849)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was running by a school and saw that a deer had caught his antlers in the fence. I felt bad for it so I tried to help it free. Finally, he became unstuck. Then he rammed his antlers into my hip. Now I can't run in the marathon I have been training for a year to race in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52388) - you deserved it (10568)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by stoopidRUnner (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (7961)
On 02/23/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by hey-o (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74923) - you deserved it (14331)
On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (10504)
On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41210) - you deserved it (10102)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182999) - you deserved it (61947)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182999) - you deserved it (61947)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29845) - you deserved it (14483)
On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71175) - you deserved it (8761)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68825) - you deserved it (14845)
On 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56027) - you deserved it (19892)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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