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Peeves

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Peeves

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 458
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Peeves : A poltergeist at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,since c. 993. Fond of mischief and chaos, he is a constant pain to the school and its inhabitants, especially Argus Filch,the caretaker,as the only ones able to control him are the Bloody Baron and Albus Dumbledore.

Peeves's page activity

Visits<b>InnocentMalice</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 4:30am<b>cheyeahh6</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:38am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 6:39pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 2:15am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 6:30pm<b>tomgun</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 1:05am<b>knotcool</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 3:54pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 9:14am<b>massinator5</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 7:13am<b>LilCheeno</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 11:30pm<b>lightfall</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 8:49am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 7:21am<b>bluecg</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 5:19am<b>XxjefferyjonesxX</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 3:28am<b>bluelagoon24</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 3:15am<b>SempiternalSky</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 2:18am<b>DoloresUmbridge</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 2:14am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 2:07am

Peeves's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Peeves's badges

Peeves's favorite FMLs

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22032) - you deserved it (64829)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44633) - you deserved it (2797)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55737) - you deserved it (4414)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40714) - you deserved it (2987)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (2734)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54107) - you deserved it (6153)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27988) - you deserved it (39014)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17219) - you deserved it (35168)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49972) - you deserved it (3334)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48770) - you deserved it (4325)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

#20825918
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45380) - you deserved it (3618)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67020) - you deserved it (8839)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64725) - you deserved it (6569)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44629) - you deserved it (3740)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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