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About Pebbles1290 : Oh hello, I see you clicked on my profile. Well then.. Fuck off and fuck off good
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11819) - you deserved it (37384)
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33819) - you deserved it (13120)
On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States
Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (2973)
On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -
Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21080) - you deserved it (1620)
On 03/05/2011 at 7:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27851) - you deserved it (5184)
On 01/24/2011 at 1:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24448) - you deserved it (3488)
On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54446) - you deserved it (2644)
Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14117) - you deserved it (29728)
On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6640) - you deserved it (21260)
On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71349) - you deserved it (3303)
On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (5963)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27157) - you deserved it (46333)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42078) - you deserved it (2786)
On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19073) - you deserved it (3970)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5153) - you deserved it (21463)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)
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