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Paradox621

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 7
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Paradox621's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you totally deserved it (1628)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

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Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (38581) - you totally deserved it (17254)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

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Today, my girlfriend of 2 years told me she was pregnant. I started freaking out, so she put her arm around me and said, "Don't worry, it's not yours". FML

#3928051 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (46008) - you totally deserved it (2761)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

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Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (29081) - you totally deserved it (16450)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

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Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (58627) - you totally deserved it (3238)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

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Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

#3544767 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (48412) - you totally deserved it (1280)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

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Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

#3395753 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (34433) - you totally deserved it (2498)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)

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Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (7151) - you totally deserved it (32551)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

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Today, the cops showed up to check out a child abuse complaint, I then had to spend an hour explaining that I had given my son a suppository. The neighbors heard him sobbing hysterically "Daddy, why did you put that in my butt? It hurts." My neighbor had heard and thought I was raping my son. FML

#3180282 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (53945) - you totally deserved it (2299)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

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