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PaladinAK

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PaladinAK

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 April 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 662
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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PaladinAK's page activity

Visits<b>cttwtr</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 10:22pm

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PaladinAK's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

#20813368
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59924) - you deserved it (6354)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64950) - you deserved it (6590)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38915) - you deserved it (3798)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45154) - you deserved it (2988)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76112) - you deserved it (3704)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56563) - you deserved it (6531)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58295) - you deserved it (4595)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53907) - you deserved it (3459)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

#20756478
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40408) - you deserved it (3306)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47485) - you deserved it (5886)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (6238)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58344) - you deserved it (9169)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73039) - you deserved it (7223)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53307) - you deserved it (6522)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51537) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom



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