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Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you deserved it (3980)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41248) - you deserved it (6234)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58779) - you deserved it (5775)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43678) - you deserved it (5372)
On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43896) - you deserved it (2778)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40934) - you deserved it (2568)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (5272)
On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62211) - you deserved it (4852)
On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44192) - you deserved it (3576)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51969) - you deserved it (8956)
On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41176) - you deserved it (51074)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45691) - you deserved it (4028)
On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States
Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40827) - you deserved it (2170)
On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51807) - you deserved it (3814)
On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50309) - you deserved it (15465)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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