Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About PaigeCPony : I'm a first year law student who loves to ride (Western and English, though I'm focusing on Dressage right now). I am addicted to the internet and Led Zeppelin.
I try not to be mean when I comment on FML and similar sites, but some of the comments are so painfully ignorant that I feel they must be addressed. If you're reading my profile because I hurt your feelings, I apologize, and feel free to message me if you think I was wrong to say whatever I said.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
Friday 18 April 2014