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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Orcahearted

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Orcahearted
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 349
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Orcahearted's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

#4896361 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (33654) - you deserved it (6824)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:27am - love - by notenough (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

#4525177 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (5539)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by ragsy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81760) - you deserved it (24061)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (53244) - you deserved it (5240)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

#1485215 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (81571) - you deserved it (11214)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

#1187689 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (45317) - you deserved it (12917)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (832)

I agree, your life sucks (32064) - you deserved it (381779)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)