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Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5119) - you totally deserved it (27657)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you totally deserved it (1882)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you totally deserved it (4111)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12039) - you totally deserved it (7078)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49119) - you totally deserved it (2879)
On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57723) - you totally deserved it (1750)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41005) - you totally deserved it (1796)
On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33996) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. It's eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43048) - you totally deserved it (1084)
On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37663) - you totally deserved it (1593)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was finishing up my art project that was due the next day. I was really tired and fell asleep on my table. Three hours later, I woke up to find my project torn to bits. I went out and saw my cat vomitting out feathers and other materials I used for my project. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20478) - you totally deserved it (4747)
On 09/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by Meow (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was informed by my doctor that my stomach lining is inflamed, causing me to vomit almost every time I eat. Oh, and I'm allergic to the only medication to treat it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39578) - you totally deserved it (1096)
On 09/15/2009 at 6:16am - health - by Dylan (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up to find my cat, dead, hanging from the ceiling fan. On the wall, it said, "You touch my wife's pussy , I touch yours." My friend who lives across the street was talking about having great fun last night with an older woman. Wrong house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39706) - you totally deserved it (1143)
On 09/13/2009 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Person1233 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, there was a car taking up 3 spaces. I left a note on the windshield that said "I hope your children come out retarded." As I was walking back, I saw the owner of the car loading her crippled son into the backseat, she needed the extra room to maneuver his wheelchair up into her car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6100) - you totally deserved it (75069)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by Failtron (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you totally deserved it (41362)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
