Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OmniFML

Search for a member

OmniFML

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6477
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

OmniFML's page activity

Visits<b>sadieloretta</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:46am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:51pm<b>hobbit_shire</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:09pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 3:59pm<b>me127</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 8:59pm<b>Goodliife</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:31am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:12am<b>inspiringdeath</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:20pm<b>clysialz</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:48pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:48am<b>p_genzy</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:35am<b>GameOverStudios</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:11pm<b>mrtennis</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:02am<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:43pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:21pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:31pm<b>tigerRaWr84</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 9:59am

OmniFML's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

OmniFML's favorite FMLs

Today... mah daughter askd me what is the youngest age at which u should start having sex. Bieng a good mom... I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been marrid. My daughter then said... ( Oh... shoot... ) and walkd away. My daughter is twelve. fat FML

#3344863
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71739) - you deserved it (12583)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I was at the mall with mah boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passd by me in the mall. He said ( What r you baby-sitting or something? ) He pointd to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46940) - you deserved it (11788)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

2day I was sitting at te park wit a frienden a small cild approacd us. Just as movd off te bridge to let te kid play, e askd if I would like to play te troll under te bridge. I laugd and said no tanks, toic te kid respondd 'but tere is nobody else ugly enoug.

#3285415
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47224) - you deserved it (3902)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

2DAY I FINALLY HAD SEX WITH A GIRL I'VE BEEN DATING FIR OVER A MONTH. BEFORE WE GOT STARTED SHE TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY ABOUT THE BIRTH CONTROL BECAUSE SHE COULD HANDLE THAT. SO AFTER WE FINISHED I ASKED HERHAT KIND OF BIRTH CONTROL SHE USED. SHE SAID SHE MEDITATED. FML

#3211870
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34556) - you deserved it (71895)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

2day I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle . After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much 4 me and I couldn't control myself . I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist . FML

#3192725
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83473) - you deserved it (14239)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, Mah Grlfriand Dacidad To Briba Ma To Ba Good Sinca Wa Wara Going Out To Dinnar With Har Parant By Giving Ma Blowjob. Tha Good Naws: It Was Ona Of Tha Bast Sha Had Avar Givan. Tha Bad Naws: I Cama On Har Black Drass. Sha Raspondad By Hitting In Ma In Tha Nuts. Hard. FML

#3176908
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49006) - you deserved it (28429)

On 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by BadBribe (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today... my brother an I found a little brd that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it... I lightly tossed it in the air an it landed a few feet looool in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it an ate it. FML

#3110459
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19563) - you deserved it (44836)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:06am - animals - by Ketchup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today ma mom walks into ma room wit a serious look on er face asks me "Wen a man is getting it from beind te man on top orgasms but wat appens to te man on bottom? Do u tink e takes care of imself or wat?" Hand motions were included . FML

#2736001
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80663) - you deserved it (5317)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, ma two year old daugter decided to crawl on top of te covers on ma bed because se was scared since tere looool was a tunder storm. I tougt se was one of our cats so I kicked er off. Se it te wall.

#2532710
1176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84889) - you deserved it (227233)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I Was In The Park 4 A Walk When A Ball Rolled To Mah Feet. Figuring It Belonged To The Kids Not Far Off, I Wound Back And Kicked. The Ball Had Actually Been Kicked By Someone Else 4 There Dog To Chase And I Ended Up Punting It In The Head. FML

#2489611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13914) - you deserved it (34286)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:50am - money - by steph (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: