About Olivxr : I'm lazy.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (6830)
On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)
Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (6125)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34877) - you deserved it (14434)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (1624)
On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (4071)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (47760)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42049) - you deserved it (3564)
On 04/10/2011 at 12:42am - love - by torny>horny - United States
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30285) - you deserved it (24916)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18895) - you deserved it (356)
On 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm - misc - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my band got booed off stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (31925)
On 08/12/2010 at 2:53am - work - by malos - United States
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45453) - you deserved it (4603)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14978) - you deserved it (1798)
On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38667) - you deserved it (71407)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34201) - you deserved it (8064)
On 07/09/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by TingBarter (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13079) - you deserved it (41888)
On 06/08/2009 at 2:44pm - love - by twowords (man) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
