Olivxr

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Olivxr

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2065
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Olivxr : I'm lazy.

Olivxr's page activity

Visits<b>Maxwellminpin</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:24pm<b>skylanderninja</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 8:51pm<b>maddymarie123</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 6:47am<b>SarahRanee_</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 1:16am<b>Seiko</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 12:00pm<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:32pm<b>britneycheyene</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 8:47pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 4:40pm<b>Fiestasaur</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 12:41pm<b>24jfred</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 2:57pm<b>vampirefairy_07</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 10:57pm<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:49pm<b>bvbarmy4ever</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:11am<b>darthgab</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 5:39pm<b>Firefighter319</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:27am<b>lovelybetty</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 4:34am<b>meeju</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 1:19am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:49pm

Olivxr's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Olivxr's badges

Olivxr's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

by JMG / 08/19/2012 at 1:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

by kaitlyna15 / 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

by kumbuck3t15 / 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

by chlolivia / 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I spent the day crying, and ate McDonald's for my Christmas dinner. FML

by Holly Jolly / 12/26/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

by Pimpleeater / 12/20/2011 at 2:45am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous