About Olivxr : I'm lazy.
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Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23915) - you deserved it (4080)
On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16546) - you deserved it (1956)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20088) - you deserved it (1343)
On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (1590)
On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)
Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (1680)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (3162)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36212)
On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19206) - you deserved it (1202)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36538) - you deserved it (2907)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12701) - you deserved it (1192)
On 09/10/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by NotJessePinkmanFFS (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17612) - you deserved it (3290)
On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (1721)
On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (1307)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (1688)
On 08/19/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by JMG - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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