Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Okamigurl

Search for a member

Okamigurl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2757
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Okamigurl : I'm the kind of girl everyone gets along with. I am happy and perky most of the time, I do like proper grammar but most of the time I won't correct you on it. Don't be a douche bag and I won't have to be a witch with a"B"and tell you to, "shut the front door!" Toodles! ;^)

Okamigurl's page activity

Visits<b>SuperDani</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 8:22am<b>barnee26</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 6:42am<b>whatismyusername</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 8:24pm<b>tommygunkid</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 1:44pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 12:59am<b>_Gunslinger_</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 10:25pm<b>DemonicOverlord</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 2:28pm<b>unicornofthesea</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 12:23pm<b>Kathleen542</b> - the 08/14/2011 at 10:53am<b>katyah</b> - the 08/14/2011 at 12:13am<b>Darcon</b> - the 06/14/2011 at 12:46pm<b>MisterKock</b> - the 05/23/2011 at 12:48am<b>bhc1</b> - the 05/08/2011 at 9:01pm<b>Bobby_Jo</b> - the 04/28/2011 at 8:48pm<b>shoieb9</b> - the 03/30/2011 at 3:29am

Okamigurl's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Okamigurl's badges

Okamigurl's favorite FMLs

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

#19293658
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20135) - you deserved it (3748)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28889) - you deserved it (18080)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26014) - you deserved it (12691)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (4086)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21056) - you deserved it (3318)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML

#19231418
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11628) - you deserved it (40177)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (27322)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML

#19203363
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21112) - you deserved it (3660)

On 03/02/2012 at 4:15pm - misc - by wtf did I do - United States

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

#19187545
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9283) - you deserved it (32192)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9817) - you deserved it (31820)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

#19180349
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18949) - you deserved it (11478)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (3874)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (2835)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

#19129021
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5047) - you deserved it (35877)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:00am - misc - by Bellend (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: