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Oihana's FML badges
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Oihana's favorite FMLs
by RiceCrispyTreats / 09/01/2015 at 12:46pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got fired from my childcare job of five years because the other staff weren't as popular with the kids, so they accused me of being "creepy" because the kids all wanted to play a game with me instead of them. FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2015 at 12:40am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML
by laurencoc / 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, I had my daughter babysit her 2-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2015 at 4:04am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I went to the mall and was persistently asked to try one of the curling irons at a kiosk. I don't like to use heat on my hair, but I reluctantly agreed. The iron burned off a good chunk of hair from the back of my head. FML
by suuoerwholock / 08/14/2015 at 10:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML
by jonloran / 08/14/2015 at 5:08am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML
by RetailRage / 08/10/2015 at 8:23am / United States (California) / Work
by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML
by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML
by TheAce44 / 07/26/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML
Today, my flatmate asked me to wash the large pile of dishes on the bench, and if I would start on cleaning the house which was a total mess. This would have been fine if I hadn't just walked in after being away for a week. FML
by I did them anyway / 07/20/2015 at 6:01pm / New Zealand / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 2:49am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML