About ObsessedWithMe : I'm actually really lame.
ObsessedWithMe's FML badges
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
ObsessedWithMe's favorite FMLs
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
by MAC. / 08/04/2012 at 5:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Unlucky / 07/25/2012 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by notsober / 03/20/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Love
by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
by Cassandra / 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
by Good sister / 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML
by poopooppachuu / 10/11/2011 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
by OhDear / 02/24/2011 at 3:03pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love
- Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms… Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were… Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my…
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…