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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1801) - you deserved it (11427)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4377) - you deserved it (5130)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17479) - you deserved it (5430)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7939) - you deserved it (1654)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (2228)
On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22458) - you deserved it (8087)
On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (2243)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6549) - you deserved it (22692)
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (4670)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (7725)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49076) - you deserved it (4377)
On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29384) - you deserved it (5212)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a random guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (6270)
On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15524) - you deserved it (44450)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
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