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About OTT3RNUTZ : My names Justin. I love snowboarding, hockey and video games. Feel free to message. Stay positive!
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Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13841) - you deserved it (53853)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12660) - you deserved it (20531)
On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10036) - you deserved it (2351)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (5273)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31963) - you deserved it (13414)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35448) - you deserved it (3521)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38674) - you deserved it (5262)
On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8893) - you deserved it (3216)
On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (7623)
On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (2269)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (170845) - you deserved it (52072)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (123897) - you deserved it (22668)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (377493) - you deserved it (54157)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
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