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NykesterWaltzz

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NykesterWaltzz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1344
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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NykesterWaltzz's page activity

Visits<b>labracabrador</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:51am<b>ayanna_wright</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:47pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Chilaxe</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:11pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 8:18pm

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NykesterWaltzz's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44455) - you deserved it (7084)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45733) - you deserved it (5286)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I love him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

#21136683
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40734) - you deserved it (4892)

On 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm - love - by not gay in AL (man) - United States

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37766) - you deserved it (20052)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45199) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (12556)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (6964)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (11431)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37843) - you deserved it (7362)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50591) - you deserved it (9278)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

#21060563
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53346) - you deserved it (5057)

On 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by accident (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46003) - you deserved it (3392)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43302) - you deserved it (7292)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42686) - you deserved it (4402)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

#20765605
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44246) - you deserved it (3050)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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