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NykesterWaltzz's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
NykesterWaltzz's favorite FMLs
by ShroomSalad / 08/17/2015 at 6:11pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML
by OhWhoCares / 08/17/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by extremereviews / 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/06/2015 at 1:24am / France / Love
by RBergman / 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
by D: / 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Money
by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by trolls have hit the gutters / 02/17/2015 at 1:23pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Miscellaneous
Today, in the magazine section of a bookstore, an old dude asked me politely to grab something that he couldn't reach. I did so with a smile, touched by his "nice old guy" demeanour, only glancing at the item in question as I handed it to him. It was a porn mag. FML
by marie0908 / 12/17/2014 at 12:29am / France (Aquitaine) / Intimacy
Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML
by justinmdent / 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by youonlyneed2squares / 09/24/2014 at 12:10am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…