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Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (4487) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (39427)
On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10610) - you deserved it (15989)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by JenniWearsPrada -
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49705) - you deserved it (3131)
On 04/14/2011 at 2:28pm - love - by Pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49705) - you deserved it (3131)
On 04/14/2011 at 2:28pm - love - by Pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57573) - you deserved it (10127)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (6672)
On 03/30/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60870) - you deserved it (7583)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19679) - you deserved it (6311)
On 02/06/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by xxxchelsiexxx - United States
Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8577) - you deserved it (37177)
On 02/04/2011 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15584) - you deserved it (2833)
On 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my ex boyfriend apologized for being a jerk to me and threatening our relationship. When he was done, he asked if his apology earned him enough points for a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25076) - you deserved it (3936)
On 01/21/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by SillySillySilly (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (9801)
On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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