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About NudjoH : Discover it yourself XD
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12507) - you deserved it (2747)
On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9151) - you deserved it (6100)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend admitted to checking out other girls when he's with me. In his defense, "he doesn't look at their face or boobs. Just their ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9657) - you deserved it (3546)
On 10/25/2009 at 11:56am - intimacy - by pandroida (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13063) - you deserved it (53421)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64283) - you deserved it (4464)
On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53509) - you deserved it (8500)
On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69617) - you deserved it (4103)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57958) - you deserved it (11005)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91239) - you deserved it (4847)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35288) - you deserved it (2611)
On 05/28/2009 at 11:51pm - work - by be_nj (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (61416) - you deserved it (13740)
On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55869) - you deserved it (5555)
On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13215) - you deserved it (39094)
On 05/23/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by arrestedgun (man) - Canada
Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38964) - you deserved it (5530)
On 05/23/2009 at 2:43am - love - by Mel (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30470) - you deserved it (23968)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)
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