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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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NuclearWinter

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NuclearWinter
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20288
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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NuclearWinter's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

#4534707 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (38675) - you deserved it (1559)

On 08/14/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by BFfail (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

#4529563 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (38879) - you deserved it (3614)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by loverpants (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (922) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (38365) - you deserved it (6679)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

#4081903 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (6573)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (42238) - you deserved it (7841)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview I went to cross my legs and realized I had on 2 different shoes. FML

#3637305 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (27161) - you deserved it (14171)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:08am - work - by unemployed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847 (371)

I agree, your life sucks (5703) - you deserved it (82115)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

#2660481 (318)

I agree, your life sucks (46934) - you deserved it (8468)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (55769) - you deserved it (7297)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (692)

I agree, your life sucks (342760) - you deserved it (22950)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)