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NuTrees's favorite FMLs
by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
by Anonymous / 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm / China / Miscellaneous
by OH COME ON / 12/29/2011 at 10:48am / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML
by GeriGeriBoBeri / 12/28/2011 at 3:59am / United States / Transportation
Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML
by tommy / 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
by Marie / 06/08/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up…