Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NuTrees

Search for a member

NuTrees

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1878
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About NuTrees : Im only here for the popcorn

NuTrees's page activity

Visits<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:16pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 2:02pm<b>es3508</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:26pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 1:30am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 11:10pm<b>RvBCaboose</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:04am<b>FanOfAnimations</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:40am<b>Medieval_Unicorn</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:52am<b>rabbitlover16</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:42pm<b>shaar</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:11am<b>Tbearshy</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:15pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:12am<b>artiststatement</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 9:56am<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 6:56pm<b>momo_sir</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:09pm<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:53pm<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 12:56pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 6:28pm

NuTrees's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of NuTrees's badges

NuTrees's favorite FMLs

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

#19716436
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (3776)

On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22764) - you deserved it (3012)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34424) - you deserved it (9253)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML

#19666760
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16905) - you deserved it (1821)

On 05/23/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

#19666580
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19652) - you deserved it (9650)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:38am - intimacy - by Fire0fisis (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML

#19648207
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (2131)

On 05/19/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

#19648090
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27455) - you deserved it (2410)

On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

#19647368
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (1948)

On 05/19/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cheesfactor (woman) - Bulgaria (Ruse)

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

#19640596
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (2244)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:22am - animals - by nick - United States

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

#19636097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16550) - you deserved it (3200)

On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

#19629941
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (3692)

On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (2846)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

#19592070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (3952)

On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (31018)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: