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Noxious88

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Noxious88
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16149
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Noxious88's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (7374)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42252) - you deserved it (4849)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33847) - you deserved it (3868)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50787) - you deserved it (4211)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

#4157667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37720) - you deserved it (24782)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#4111292
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (22104)

On 07/28/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by porkfriedlife - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40793) - you deserved it (7037)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (58206)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57476) - you deserved it (30022)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

#2583409
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49234) - you deserved it (7430)

On 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by canadiankc (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28758) - you deserved it (133745)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML

#1957244
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49299) - you deserved it (8456)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States



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