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NowhereFaster

Offline (the 10/10/2014 at 11:11am) | Search for a member

NowhereFaster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1010
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NowhereFaster : This member has better things to do than fill in the description.

NowhereFaster's page activity

Visits<b>JoshMohawk</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 3:50pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:05pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 11:43pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 4:01am<b>isabellegypsy</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 7:16am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/08/2011 at 2:56am<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 4:20pm<b>superficialheart</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 7:37am

NowhereFaster's FML badges

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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NowhereFaster's favorite FMLs

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20278) - you deserved it (32144)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40740) - you deserved it (26828) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30715) - you deserved it (19930) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML

#14534299
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12007) - you deserved it (38911)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML

#14532668
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (8020)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29718) - you deserved it (12343)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112792) - you deserved it (15246)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (20903)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML

#12371102
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26593) - you deserved it (5128)

On 08/07/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by TRalalla (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

#11954418
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (3883)

On 07/18/2010 at 1:02am - work - by Flyboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

#10903041
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9654) - you deserved it (117542)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11262) - you deserved it (48841)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106321) - you deserved it (12439)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)



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