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NowhereFaster

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NowhereFaster
  • Town/Country : Glasgow/St Andrews, Scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 July 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 407
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NowhereFaster : This member has better things to do than fill in the description.

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NowhereFaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23906) - you deserved it (4079)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5118) - you deserved it (33432)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14069) - you deserved it (1768)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

#18896901
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13515) - you deserved it (21888)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33287) - you deserved it (3927)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49670) - you deserved it (5247)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8139) - you deserved it (174095)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41199) - you deserved it (21048)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (9081)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35595) - you deserved it (2996)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents told me that due to my lacking height and weight, I legally have to sit in a booster seat in the car from now on. I'm nineteen. FML

#15188063
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37602) - you deserved it (4396)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16305) - you deserved it (24429)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32928) - you deserved it (21127) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (15686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML

#14534299
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9227) - you deserved it (28807)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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