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NowhereFaster

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NowhereFaster
  • Town/Country : Glasgow/St Andrews, Scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 669
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NowhereFaster : This member has better things to do than fill in the description.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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NowhereFaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42714) - you deserved it (7580)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45417) - you deserved it (6890)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47873) - you deserved it (10279)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27251) - you deserved it (61222)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28702) - you deserved it (5415)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6471) - you deserved it (44536)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14552) - you deserved it (1809)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

#18896901
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (27037)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34149) - you deserved it (3974)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55222) - you deserved it (6813)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
495 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10271) - you deserved it (204619)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (25757)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (11292)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36261) - you deserved it (3014)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents told me that due to my lacking height and weight, I legally have to sit in a booster seat in the car from now on. I'm nineteen. FML

#15188063
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39146) - you deserved it (4511)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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