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Not_Impressed13

Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 3:27am) | Search for a member

Not_Impressed13

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 955
  • Number of comments : 286
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Not_Impressed13's page activity

Visits<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:11am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 11:18pm<b>LHOTP</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:44am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:05am<b>daken96</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:19pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:28am<b>Socks91</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:12am<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 12:01pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:53am<b>limitedition</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:02pm<b>TypoFairy</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:14am<b>rhyannon11</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 7:22am<b>Mkm1997</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:06pm<b>zilfy</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 3:41pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:23am<b>Alvarortor</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:20am<b>Thoms34</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:17am<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 2:27am

Fucked!<b>daken96</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:28pm

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Not_Impressed13's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37990) - you deserved it (6965)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53689) - you deserved it (5599)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42142) - you deserved it (3768)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45761) - you deserved it (4023)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (81969)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43230) - you deserved it (2898)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61240) - you deserved it (13867)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50808) - you deserved it (9786)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

#20586964
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35836) - you deserved it (13505)

On 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm - misc - by SoreNips (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46546) - you deserved it (7952)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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