NotDarkKnight

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Offline (the 07/14/2015 at 5:32am)

NotDarkKnight

24Fucked!

NotDarkKnightNotDarkKnight
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 December 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1200
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About NotDarkKnight : Quick! Write something witty!
Now that the pressure is gone...hi. I'm Bailey. YES THAT CAN BE A GUY NAME. I enjoy sports, math, and pizza. I have a weiner dog. I'm in my high school marching band. *Band camp statement here* I dislike mayonnaise, which is a terrible instrument. I'm not exactly eye candy, so keep reading this over and over until you leave, if you insist.

NotDarkKnight's page activity

Visits<b>AlexOrban</b> - yesterday at 10:52pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:07pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 12:51am<b>ptvbabe229</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 12:23am<b>jessenia123</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 8:17pm<b>sophiarose69</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 10:21pm<b>abbs24</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:26am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 3:11pm<b>caroline43872</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 2:20pm<b>maybellina</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 6:36pm<b>max367</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 2:42am<b>simply_meeeee</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 6:27pm<b>bryce0110</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:40am<b>just_jobe</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 1:37am<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 5:19pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 2:35pm<b>NonScaryPumkin</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:10pm<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 12:07am

Fucked!<b>jessenia123</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 2:20am<b>NonScaryPumkin</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:10pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 6:54am<b>a816090</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:57am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 9:37pm<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:12am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:09am<b>nandybear</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 10:57pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 11:06pm<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:51pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:13pm<b>jrdubreucq</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 4:41pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:56am<b>FredFHRITP</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 2:21pm<b>rsg0001</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:03am<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:44am<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:04pm<b>ThatOneGirl2020</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 6:52pm

NotDarkKnight's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of NotDarkKnight's badges

NotDarkKnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

by pissed out pants / 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML

by NotDarkKnight / 10/07/2014 at 8:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

by MLeguillon / 09/01/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 5:46pm / Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego) / Intimacy

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

by fucked / 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

by humdrummitydrum / 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm / United States / Health

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy