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NotDarkKnight

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NotDarkKnight

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 December 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 237
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About NotDarkKnight : Quick! Write something witty!
Now that the pressure is gone...hi. I'm Bailey. YES THAT CAN BE A GUY NAME. I enjoy sports, math, and pizza. I dislike mayonnaise, which is a terrible instrument.

NotDarkKnight's page activity

Visits<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - 9 hours ago<b>asian_short_girl</b> - 14 hours ago<b>XxYasBerryxX</b> - 16 hours ago<b>live_loveemily</b> - 20 hours ago<b>sussanaeleni</b> - yesterday at 2:44am<b>briel1995</b> - yesterday at 2:10am<b>rachel0123</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:45am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:13am<b>BrendenTaylor</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:35pm<b>thatstupidchick</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Flasby</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 1:18am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:45pm<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Axelerate</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:36pm<b>cinda45</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:35am<b>skittleattack</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:08am<b>joefrazier</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:22am<b>garciat1998</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:26am

Liked!<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:04pm<b>ThatOneGirl2020</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 6:52pm<b>thatonelosergirl</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:47am<b>ellymae96</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:30pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:44pm<b>ItzJorgia</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:30am<b>Moykull</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:06am<b>klb9</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:43am

NotDarkKnight's FML badges

Follow up

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One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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NotDarkKnight's favorite FMLs

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26714) - you deserved it (9226)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML

#21251987
60 comments

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32872) - you deserved it (7605)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47962) - you deserved it (3841)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46824) - you deserved it (3796)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40835) - you deserved it (9481)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
80 comments

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50606) - you deserved it (9726)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

#21244497
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36583) - you deserved it (5332)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm - work - by fucked - United States (California)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42058) - you deserved it (5965)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41268) - you deserved it (8407) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML

#21231531
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33577) - you deserved it (4610)

On 08/07/2014 at 4:23am - money - by MoMoneyMoProblems (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (13870)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40189) - you deserved it (6571)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35205) - you deserved it (2917)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao



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