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NotDarkKnight

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NotDarkKnight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 December 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 94
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NotDarkKnight : Quick! Write something witty!
Now that the pressure is gone...hi. I'm Bailey. YES THAT CAN BE A GUY NAME. I enjoy sports, math, and pizza. I dislike mayonnaise, which is a terrible instrument.

NotDarkKnight's page activity

Visits<b>RandEm2497</b> - yesterday at 12:13am<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:09am<b>hey_brittany_</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:08am<b>marleypuckpuck</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:26am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:16am<b>logan_tongsampah</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:23pm<b>paramor3</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:49am<b>noctowl</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:45am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:16pm<b>myinsecurities</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:51pm<b>katebond</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:42am<b>J215B</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:33pm<b>omnia</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:02pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:57pm<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:15pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:18am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:43am

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NotDarkKnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
78 comments

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43095) - you deserved it (8340)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

#21244497
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34213) - you deserved it (5161)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm - work - by fucked - United States (California)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40203) - you deserved it (5649)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38508) - you deserved it (7985) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML

#21231531
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (4371)

On 08/07/2014 at 4:23am - money - by MoMoneyMoProblems (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39588) - you deserved it (13845)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40031) - you deserved it (6565)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (2917)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42321) - you deserved it (6995)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51991) - you deserved it (7804)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49616) - you deserved it (4655)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50761) - you deserved it (11837)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38813) - you deserved it (7064)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)



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