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NotDarkKnight

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NotDarkKnight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 December 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 107
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NotDarkKnight : Quick! Write something witty!
Now that the pressure is gone...hi. I'm Bailey. YES THAT CAN BE A GUY NAME. I enjoy sports, math, and pizza. I dislike mayonnaise, which is a terrible instrument.

NotDarkKnight's page activity

Visits<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:13am<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:09am<b>hey_brittany_</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:08am<b>marleypuckpuck</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:26am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:16am<b>logan_tongsampah</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:23pm<b>paramor3</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:49am<b>noctowl</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:45am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:16pm<b>myinsecurities</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:51pm<b>katebond</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:42am<b>J215B</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:33pm<b>omnia</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:02pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:57pm<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:15pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:18am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:43am

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You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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NotDarkKnight's favorite FMLs

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML

#21251987
60 comments

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (7481)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46863) - you deserved it (3540)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46605) - you deserved it (3794)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40646) - you deserved it (9449)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
80 comments

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50438) - you deserved it (9710)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

#21244497
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36544) - you deserved it (5326)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm - work - by fucked - United States (California)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (5688)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40505) - you deserved it (8326) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML

#21231531
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (4600)

On 08/07/2014 at 4:23am - money - by MoMoneyMoProblems (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39640) - you deserved it (13862)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (6568)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35175) - you deserved it (2917)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42363) - you deserved it (7003)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



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