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NotDarkKnight

Offline (the 07/10/2014 at 5:19am) | Search for a member

NotDarkKnight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 December 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 52
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About NotDarkKnight : Quick! Write something witty!
Now that the pressure is gone...hi. I'm Bailey. YES THAT CAN BE A GUY NAME. I enjoy sports, math, and pizza. I dislike mayonnaise, which is a terrible instrument.

NotDarkKnight's page activity

Visits<b>myinsecurities</b> - one hour ago<b>katebond</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:42am<b>J215B</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:33pm<b>omnia</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:02pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:57pm<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:15pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:18am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:43am<b>Betz_00</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:20am<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:10am<b>Joelleish</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:00pm<b>metalkrisi</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:48pm<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:03pm<b>fordneagles</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:32pm<b>Spiral_Thoughts</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:16pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 12:58am

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NotDarkKnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23175) - you deserved it (7161)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38145) - you deserved it (6387)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34510) - you deserved it (2893)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41888) - you deserved it (6966)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51150) - you deserved it (7674)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49257) - you deserved it (4644)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

#21196912
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50347) - you deserved it (11804)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38711) - you deserved it (7048)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46466) - you deserved it (12119)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110154) - you deserved it (15387)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54373) - you deserved it (27339)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36302) - you deserved it (81058)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version



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