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Nomenth

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Nomenth

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 April 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 355
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Nomenth's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (3257)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (5284)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42938) - you deserved it (9375)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45449) - you deserved it (8036)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (8075)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (9505)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34516) - you deserved it (6688)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (3696)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34214) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

#19635383
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (1630)

On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (9456)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

#18969254
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30843) - you deserved it (3509)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30341) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)



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