About NomOnShroomz : Don't do drugs kids, they're all mine. I'm serious, I'll find you. Actually no, I'm to busy getting totally baked so I'll send Rico. That's right, be scared.
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Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22514) - you deserved it (1770)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - money - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39976) - you deserved it (3998)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6930) - you deserved it (25063)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:52am - health - by pain - United States
Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (3210)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (3796)
On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (3643)
On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27940) - you deserved it (2907)
On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17536) - you deserved it (2298)
On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important test I failed. I got a lower score the second time around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8358) - you deserved it (21577)
On 10/31/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21899) - you deserved it (4433)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50078) - you deserved it (3490)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20559) - you deserved it (2894)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -
Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29509) - you deserved it (412)
On 09/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by cjy152 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30585) - you deserved it (3229)
On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28839) - you deserved it (2730)
On 07/18/2011 at 9:08am - misc - by _TaToRtOt_ (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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