Is Nobody's ever lasting lover&will never be.
Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35603) - you totally deserved it (2322)
On 08/06/2009 at 4:01pm - misc - by tryingnottocare (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39231) - you totally deserved it (6441)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (46861) - you totally deserved it (3207)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by ididntdoanythingaight (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you totally deserved it (5872)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37582) - you totally deserved it (6823)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30829) - you totally deserved it (5849)
On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
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On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42063) - you totally deserved it (3201)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you totally deserved it (17161)
On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)
Today, after a long stressful day, my boyfriend and I decided to take a shower together. As I'm telling him all about my day, I suddenly felt something warm on my foot, only to look down and see him peeing on me. When I asked what he was doing he said "I'm marking my territory, you're mine now." FML
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On 07/24/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Surprise (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was lying in bed late at night trying to fall asleep. I blew my nose on a kleenex and was too lazy to get up and put it in the garbage. I threw it under my bed when I heard a whispery voice say "Thank you". It was my little brother trying to scare me. I peed myself. FML
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On 07/23/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51165) - you totally deserved it (5035)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38237) - you totally deserved it (2095)
On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
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On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML
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On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - kids - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)
