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NoWarranty

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NoWarranty

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 31 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 417
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About NoWarranty : I'm a human

NoWarranty's page activity

Visits<b>Randy84</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 2:39pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/08/2012 at 1:26am<b>pookie18</b> - the 10/30/2011 at 5:06pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 5:06pm<b>Salkadi</b> - the 10/25/2011 at 6:06pm<b>TooOldForDiss</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 7:12pm

NoWarranty's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of NoWarranty's badges

NoWarranty's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32818) - you deserved it (5843)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29105) - you deserved it (7283)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27913) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27913) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32597) - you deserved it (9072)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21152) - you deserved it (5307)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22642) - you deserved it (7188)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41721) - you deserved it (10828)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

#18156228
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33674) - you deserved it (3960)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (9266)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (4389)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37007) - you deserved it (3256)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

#17558329
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8916) - you deserved it (44354)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

#17406158
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28107) - you deserved it (3908)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11650) - you deserved it (65404)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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