[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Nitros

Search for a member

Nitros
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 41212
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nitros : Rawr

Nitros's last visitors

Freezeurbancowgurl777

Nitros's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Nitros's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50429) - you deserved it (10395)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (40942) - you deserved it (2557)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused caling me Jill & her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (98213) - you deserved it (5699)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (73318) - you deserved it (13613)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (68941) - you deserved it (32611)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (50347) - you deserved it (5966)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (57818) - you deserved it (5877)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (10962) - you deserved it (38543)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (22858) - you deserved it (64739)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (43403) - you deserved it (7692)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (13099) - you deserved it (44504)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

#1383069 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (59109) - you deserved it (10558)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

#1135948 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (91782) - you deserved it (8816)

On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (52593) - you deserved it (7826)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228719) - you deserved it (19504)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)