Niqhtware

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Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 6:11pm)

Niqhtware

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1996
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Niqhtware : I like turtles.

Niqhtware's page activity

Visits<b>Jishiku</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:45am<b>NickaPLZ</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 1:22pm<b>eccentrix</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 3:52am

Niqhtware's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Niqhtware's favorite FMLs

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

by Mr. Headshot / 04/25/2011 at 1:01am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

by Ashleigh / 04/22/2011 at 2:43pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

by rawr / 04/20/2011 at 10:15am / Work

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

by randa / 04/19/2011 at 2:38am / Kids

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

by overflowing / 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

by inalotofpain / 04/16/2011 at 8:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

by bbedlock / 04/16/2011 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous

Today, at 6am I was waiting for the tram to go home from my late night job. A homeless man came up to me and offered to buy me a beer because "guys like us have to stick together." FML

by ihaveahome / 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

by ILiveWithMorons / 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

by Carmen / 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

by notfunny / 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2011 at 1:26am / Health