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Niqhtware's favorite FMLs
by Mr. Headshot / 04/25/2011 at 1:01am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
by Ashleigh / 04/22/2011 at 2:43pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
by overflowing / 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
by inalotofpain / 04/16/2011 at 8:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML
by bbedlock / 04/16/2011 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous
by ihaveahome / 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
by ILiveWithMorons / 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML
by Carmen / 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by notfunny / 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…