Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Niqhtware

Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 6:11pm) | Search for a member

Niqhtware

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1262
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Niqhtware : I like turtles.

Niqhtware's page activity

Visits<b>Jishiku</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:45am<b>NickaPLZ</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 1:22pm<b>eccentrix</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 3:52am

Niqhtware's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Niqhtware's badges

Niqhtware's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML

#16262693
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42050) - you deserved it (3302)

On 05/20/2011 at 1:46am - love - by BALEIGHLOVE17 -

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

#16259164
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (6216)

On 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by rileycrash (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

#16255718
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (7273)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML

#16245376
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52544) - you deserved it (3723)

On 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41139) - you deserved it (3414)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65028) - you deserved it (4465)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

#16221973
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48669) - you deserved it (25534)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44336) - you deserved it (7899)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

#16207509
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25526) - you deserved it (35018)

On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61876) - you deserved it (9674)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110588) - you deserved it (15422)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML

#16057937
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58942) - you deserved it (4662)

On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were 'bored'. FML

#16022547
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31235) - you deserved it (4573)

On 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm - misc - by missmirror (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44285) - you deserved it (3332)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65392) - you deserved it (7373)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: