Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Niqhtware

Offline (yesterday at 6:11pm) | Search for a member

Niqhtware

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 September 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1200
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Niqhtware : I like turtles.

Niqhtware's page activity

Visits<b>NickaPLZ</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 1:22pm<b>eccentrix</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 3:52am

Niqhtware's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Niqhtware's badges

Niqhtware's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31768) - you deserved it (4275)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34293) - you deserved it (9863)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

#17241320
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39490) - you deserved it (8394)

On 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm - love - by Lonely (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52347) - you deserved it (6683)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39292) - you deserved it (4246)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

#17046646
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28843) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/09/2011 at 11:12pm - health - by ilovedirt - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38974) - you deserved it (3100)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35991) - you deserved it (4345)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (6361)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33688) - you deserved it (3606)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

#16970431
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (3427)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:42am - work - by crudofalife - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40997) - you deserved it (2606)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

#16933111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40997) - you deserved it (4076)

On 07/01/2011 at 5:12am - love - by single (man) - China (Guangdong)

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33551) - you deserved it (5232)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML

#16911050
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40006) - you deserved it (3488)

On 06/29/2011 at 4:41pm - love - by nolove4me (woman) - United States (Alaska)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: