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Niqhtware's favorite FMLs
by 14YearOld / 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
by JWhite / 11/24/2011 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to break up with him since he's always busy, and I haven't seen or spoke to him in almost 2 months. I arrived to find out from his landlord that he'd moved out 3 weeks ago, leaving a note saying that we were over. FML
by melikeyturtles / 11/02/2011 at 1:21am / United States / Love
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I was pulled over for going the wrong way on a closed highway. The construction signs pointed me in that direction, and the cop agreed that they should be fixed. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML
by ashleyyyy / 10/28/2011 at 11:59am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
by prostitutes boyfriend / 10/21/2011 at 10:55am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
by sarah / 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
- Today, my dad picked me up from my friends house because I didn't tell him where I was. This would… Today while hanging out with my boyfriend and two of our guy friends I realized I was what you call… Today, I work as a cashier at McDonalds. Some guy came in and ordered a $1.50 coffee and payed with…