About Niqhtware : I like turtles.
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Niqhtware's favorite FMLs
Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML
by WTF? / 04/01/2011 at 11:55am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm / Macedonia (Struga) / Animals
by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
by devinbyrne / 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML
by oheyimsarahh / 02/16/2011 at 10:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 2:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Pr unlucky / 10/02/2010 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by Bruce / 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?"… Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom… Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God"…