Nilorak

Search for a member

Online

Nilorak

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1963
  • Number of comments : 448
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About Nilorak : 22 fr.o.m. Sweden.

Nilorak's page activity

Visits<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 10:26pm<b>danm19</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:24pm<b>Fredrick010</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 3:00pm<b>OlRed</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 1:39pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 12:09am<b>GokuSS400</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:41am<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:08pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:39pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 9:59pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 7:36pm<b>samimurr28</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 2:28pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:59am<b>Red_Ralph</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 1:51am<b>sammiaaron</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 2:17pm<b>mllee5</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 8:40pm<b>kara701</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 12:23am<b>captainwhiskers</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 6:16pm<b>TylerSimpz</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 12:45pm

Fucked!<b>mariri9206</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 1:20am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:50am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:27am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 2:21am<b>RunIfYouCan</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 10:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:29pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:30am<b>bluesky115</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:54pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:10pm

Nilorak's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Nilorak's badges

Nilorak's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 8:36am / Hungary (Budapest) / Health

Today, I was on a long roadtrip with my son. My son said he has to pee to which I answered he had to wait till I can stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML

by Carnage23 / 06/05/2016 at 8:38am / Germany (Hessen) / Kids

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

by halza / 05/30/2016 at 7:03am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Love

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2015 at 9:02am / Intimacy

Today, I finally got to a point where I could ask my mother about how enthusiastically she used to beat me. First sentence out of her mouth was, "It didn't change your behaviour, but it did make me feel better." FML

by MeAgainDr... / 11/13/2015 at 12:24am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML

by doggylove / 11/12/2015 at 10:57pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone photoshopped my head onto some nude girl's body and spread it around at school. It was shockingly convincing. Now everyone's calling me a slut, and the worst part is I have no idea which photo the person used or where they got it from, so I can't prove it's a fake. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2015 at 1:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML

by Tag / 09/06/2015 at 8:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML

by a_dani365 / 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm / United States (Nebraska) / Holidays

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

by anon / 02/03/2015 at 2:50am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML

by happytuckerhappy / 12/29/2014 at 7:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

by Kev / 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, as a last resort for my back problems, I tried acupuncture. After the needles were placed and the doctor had left, I couldn't move for 30 minutes. I had a panic attack. FML

by screwed / 08/08/2014 at 8:26am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health