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NightMareLife

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NightMareLife
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 December 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 16571
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, my neighbor from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

#17405382 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (17881) - you deserved it (4026)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by wahhh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

#17403916 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (4908)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536 (455)

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (4368)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (16249) - you deserved it (3835)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (22253) - you deserved it (2350)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (5132)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (35524) - you deserved it (2037)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

#17355193 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (8240) - you deserved it (20429)

On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313 (445)

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (3965)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (2243)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (1981)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (11372) - you deserved it (2967)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. His sister and I filled the air vents in his car with confetti so when he starts the car, it would blow all over him. In the process we lost the keys. The keys cost $200 to replace. Happy Birthday! FML

#17329385 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (8224) - you deserved it (22080)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by americanbln - United States

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

#17329330 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (23747) - you deserved it (10533)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I had been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML

#17329183 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (2157)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:07am - misc - by tired (woman) - United States



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