Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Niaa

Search for a member

Niaa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3876
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Niaa : Originally, I come from Poland but live in Ireland.
I support Grammar Nazis.

------------------------------
"Mecka lecka halava beem sala beem."

Niaa's last visitors

RababcoGreenRivertherosalinadachaykeMrBonecrusherz98meowwrongnotacatinfinitegraceYoshi12343

Niaa's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Niaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (3260)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (4323)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (2784)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28428) - you deserved it (8281)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML

#6724461
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5785) - you deserved it (41506)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

#6723813
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5266) - you deserved it (33138)

On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

#6722674
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28933) - you deserved it (5619)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10272) - you deserved it (34793)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12079) - you deserved it (32222)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56330) - you deserved it (14568)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11058) - you deserved it (38871)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML

#4555175
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42506) - you deserved it (20526)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

#3091991
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8120) - you deserved it (57747)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML

#1865154
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (6739)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:48am - work - by pdnne (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: