About NiCeGuY115 : I love to make people laugh. It's one of my hobbies. I'm also the king of sarcasm so watch out.
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Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41300) - you deserved it (3618)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30160) - you deserved it (4300)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States
Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (1686)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14031) - you deserved it (1835)
On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20592) - you deserved it (4574)
On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (4557)
On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18616) - you deserved it (1269)
On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I decided to be a gentleman and let an old lady have my seat on the bus. Before I could even get up, she sat on my lap and wouldn't get off. I got an involuntary lap dance from a grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16233) - you deserved it (1113)
On 09/11/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by tdudey123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17834) - you deserved it (3930)
On 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm - animals - by goodbyefriend - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15532) - you deserved it (1637)
On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16695) - you deserved it (4702)
On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France
Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (1666)
On 08/12/2012 at 11:49am - love - by jake (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (1537)
On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5900) - you deserved it (32956)
On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34790) - you deserved it (3699)
On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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