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Newo

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Newo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 December 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8299
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Newo : Love Coheed and Cambria, Bo Burnham, Red Hot Chili Peppers, acting, video games, snowboarding, and reading FML on a daily basis.

Newo's page activity

Visits<b>XxLegitxXPanda</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:41pm<b>laurenasabutton</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:41pm<b>someotherbitch</b> - the 08/25/2009 at 11:51am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 1:34pm<b>rukusrazor</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 4:42pm<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 8:14am<b>amykillswitch</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 5:44pm<b>chuji</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 12:30am

Newo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Newo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

#1259503
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69718) - you deserved it (8072)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (83592)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102753) - you deserved it (6215)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102753) - you deserved it (6215)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102753) - you deserved it (6215)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

#796416
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74499) - you deserved it (40933)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had 'something serious' to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was 2 hours long. FML

#662382
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86347) - you deserved it (6882)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by linren (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML

#661204
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52970) - you deserved it (33839)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by enriquegay (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14492) - you deserved it (132916)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197967) - you deserved it (31454)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML

#255521
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46713) - you deserved it (10609)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm - kids - by flaggurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

#150971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12230) - you deserved it (68568)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45492) - you deserved it (2281)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

#2357
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14144) - you deserved it (40584)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)



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