Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeverDont

Search for a member

NeverDont

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 785
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About NeverDont : Just a bored 12-year-old. Got a blog! www.thatguywithalaptop.blogspot.com

NeverDont's page activity

Visits<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/27/2011 at 7:05pm<b>VeraJK</b> - the 10/18/2011 at 3:15pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:09pm<b>Pixxio_O</b> - the 08/10/2011 at 3:58pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 08/10/2011 at 2:50am

NeverDont's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of NeverDont's badges

NeverDont's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (2910)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

#19409453
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8039) - you deserved it (18429)

On 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

#19408949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12239) - you deserved it (17265)

On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7679) - you deserved it (35858)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20951) - you deserved it (1907)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (1698)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

#19405276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (1899)

On 04/04/2012 at 3:51am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

#19404981
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19670) - you deserved it (2533)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:43am - love - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

#19404760
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18009) - you deserved it (2016)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6512) - you deserved it (24119)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (1973)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (1933)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that my roommate doesn't actually know a damn thing about cooking. I'm suffering the effects of him telling me that chicken is best eaten medium-rare. FML

#19404145
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18282) - you deserved it (11011)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Ralph - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

#19401263
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13712) - you deserved it (22827)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

#19401228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26490) - you deserved it (5240)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: